Beezner’s Ode to Louisville
By Beezner on Nov 7, 2007 in Humor, Rantings
There are few things I hate more than over-hyped, flash in the pan programs masquerading as serious threats to legitimate football programs and nothing has embodied that sheep in a lion suit more over the past few years than the Louisville football team. Over the past six months, this joke of an athletics program has watched its favorite coach leave, it’s big-time recruit shipped off to jail and endured the biggest spiral down the sports toilet that I can remember. And, just when the bandwagon seemed to be getting so full…
So, in honor of the number of wins the Filthy Cards will fail to reach in order to be bowl eligible, here are the top six reasons why I could never be a Louisville fan:
- It gets way too cold to wear a mesh tank top year round
- I couldn’t root for a school whose most notable contribution to society is a closeted homosexual photographer (Larry Birkhead).
- Although I’ve seen 8 Mile and happen to enjoy it, I don’t find it necessary to make it a way of life.
- I love to cheer for my team, but mimicking an “L” with your fingers is just a little too gay for me. Had someone already claimed the spirit fingers?
- It’s just too hard to root for a team that falls disappointingly short of expectations every year in basketball and football.
- I prefer to talk sports with my head outside of my ass.
But, in Louisville’s defense, their cheerleader’s hoo-hah sure did look nice in those pictures her ex-boyfriend posted all over the internet. Trust me, you should Google it.
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Couchburner | Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
you lost me on the 8-mile thing…wasn’t that in Detroit? please enlighten me.
MountaineerBob | Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
i think he’s talking about how they are all wanna-be rappers down there, but they live in a hickville.. er i mean Louisville.
They all look and act like this:
http://www.jest.com/images/wigger2big.gif
Robb | Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
U of L thinks of us as a major rival and in all reality wvu could care less. UofL is just another stop on our road to success. Pitt is a rival. not a team that joined the “big boys” two years ago. Hell they were in the Metro Conference not that long ago! the Metro Conference?!?!?! are you kidding
Second…. I was sooooo pissed off a little over a year ago when WVU got a verbal commitment from Victor Anderson, a running back out of St. X in louisville. This kid backed out out on us and then signed to Louisville after Petrino went to Atlanta. Now a year later this guy might have made the worst decision of his football carrer. He passed on playing for a team like wvu and is now running scout team for shitty UofL. So who did we get in this A**Holes place? Jesus Devine, thank you God.
JWilson | Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
Would have he got to play behind our stable anyways? Probably better he didn’t come.
Frank L. Porter | Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
All I have to say is;
1. 2005 final four we went thru WVU.
2. 2006 UofL 44 WVU 34
3. Big East Tournament quarter finals. Once again UofL won.
So lets see: Over the last three years we’ve won more games 3-2. The one victory you do have in Hicktown WV was the bad onside kick call that the refs gave you. So spare me with that stupid John Denver song “Take me home country road” or whatever the name of that song is. Who cares!!!!! Yeah you got a good football team, but that will end this year after your qb and rb bolts to the league!!!!!!!!! And let’s not talk about hicks when you burn couches at a pep rally.
MountaineerBob | Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
always comes back to the couchburnin’…. such simpletons.
and don’t act you don’t know the name to “that” John Denver song.
I’ve been to Louisville, it’s way more Hicksville, than Morgantown. Trust me. You’re deep in the hick of it down there.
But hey thanks for visiting the site!
Frank L. Porter | Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
Anytime:) but I beg to differ on the comparison of Morgantown to Louisville. I’ve been to Morgantown and believe me you’re not a metropolis by any means, but you’re right I do know the John Denver song and had the unfortunate pleasure of having to hear it the last time I was at your stadium in probably one of the greatest college football games I’ve ever seen in person between UofL and WVU. WVU fans actually should be grateful to UofL because it was that game two years ago that was the birth of the Pat White/Steve Slaton tandem. The best one/two tandem in college football. Good Luck tomorrow although we’re going to need it. Believe it or not. I was rooting for WVU when you played Georgia in the Sugar Bowl two years ago.
MountaineerBob | Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
yeah i was at that game and i do thank UofL for blowing that game and helping us get to the Sugar. Thanks for pulling for us in that game. I will always always pull for Big East teams when not playing WVU.
Are you coming up for this game?
Couchburner | Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
awesome photo. quick question…is that brian brohm getting ready for his high school prom?
Frank L. Porter | Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
Nah I have to be in Memphis, TN the next day. If it weren’t for that I definitely would be there. Two years ago fans weren’t too hard on us. I know you’re going to be “jacked up” for the game.
MountaineerBob | Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
well hell if you were going to be there i’d make sure to keep a cold one in the cooler for ya!
Natty Up!
Crimsonelf | Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
Look, hillbillies, the fact of the matter is that UofL brings credibility to what was a dying Big East conference. As far as ‘flash in the pan,’ the Cards are indeed a flash, shining their reflected glory onto all of the others who were dwelling in darkness before they arrived. So drink up, Cheers ‘Eers! And show some Mofo’in respect for your betters, beeatch!
Beezner | Nov 8, 2007 | Reply
Dear Crimsonelf,
Thank you for proving reason #6. Go back to Tardville.
-Beezner
robb | Nov 8, 2007 | Reply
Crimsonelf, you’re an idiot. How could you ever think your team is “bring creditability” to this league? Unfortunately you’re a year too late on this posting. A team that lets up 42 point to MTSU, gets beat by Syracuse at home and got lucky against Pitt is not brining creditability for this league. If anything U of L this year has done nothing but hurt this league. Your suicide drop from the polls has not only hurt your chances but now it hurts everyone’s SOS when they beat you!
MeytonPanning | Nov 8, 2007 | Reply
“Flash in the pan programs?” What you mean like Rutgers, USF, and *gulp* West Virginia?
“Hey Kettle this is Pot. You’re black.”
It’s not as if West Virginia is a program with volumes of historical exploits. In fact, the rise of the new powers of the Big East has been very recent (helps when the best opponent in the conference jumps ship to the ACC). That includes both UL and WVU. Sorry but if you say flash in the pan I think that term still applies to the Mountaineers. We’ll need continued consistent success before you go off on this “perennial powerhouse” kick….Sorry we’re not drinking THAT kool aid….
Frank L. Porter | Nov 8, 2007 | Reply
Bob: Tonight’s the night. Good Luck!!!!!! Drink one for me, I wish I could be there tonight. If UofL wins it will make our season if not then it’s more of the same. (for this year) that is.
MountaineerBob | Nov 8, 2007 | Reply
Frank,
I’ll drink 1 for ya! I’ll also sneak in a flask of jack D for ya too!
LETS GO MOUNTAINEERS!!!
Innocent Bystander | Nov 8, 2007 | Reply
Watching you Louiville and West Virginia fans arguing about who is superior is very amusing. Kind of like trying to decide between beets and peas.